Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The End of a Career

For those of you who have wanted to hang out with me in the past 3 years, you'll know that I can never do said "hanging out" without some very careful planning a month in advance. This is mostly due to the odd hours of my job.

Since August of 2006 I've had the same job working for the BYU Info desk. It is basically been the best job ever, but since I'm graduating from BYU they won' t let me stay. This means I won't have to work 6am-10am one day, then 9pm-1am the next, but it is a sad day indeed. Now what kind of stories will I tell to garner attention at Alex's Master's get-togethers--Lame "I've-read-so-many-works-of-litterature" stories? Who will I argue with about whether or notTwilight is porn? How will I earn money?

These are problems I'm not sure any future job could imediently solve, but untill all my questions are answered I will leave you with some of our strange calls:

Operator: BYU Operator
Caller: Did you know that it is raining outside?
O: ....No?
C: And did you also know that the sprinklers are on at the Provo Temple?
O: Uhh...
C: And do you know what that means!?
O: That the temple is wasting water?
C: Mushrooms! Mushrooms are going to be sprouting all over the grounds of the temple. I need you to call them to let them know
O: (befudled pause) I can connect you there to tell them.
C: Oh, well, that will be fine. Someone has to let them know before this gets out of hand.

Operator: BYU Operator.
Caller: Hey, do you know if BYU accepts testies?
O: I'm sorry, did you just say testies?
C: Yeah. I know they have some cadavers on campus, and wanted to know if I could donate some testicles for science.
O: Uhh, I'm.. not.. sure..let me connect you with BYU Phillanthropies. All donations go through them.
C: thanks a bunch.

Operator: BYU Operator.
Caller: Hey can I talk to Cori?
O: Sure, What's the last name?
C: Smith.
O:I'm not finding a Cori Smith...
C: Oh, Smith is my last name.
O: ....Do you know Cori's last name?
C: Oh! Yeah, it's Johnson.
O: Ok, here he is. his number is...
C: Oh wait! I just want to talk to him.
O: Ok, let me give you his number and connect you. It's 42...
C: Can't I just talk to him?
O: Umm he's not actuall here, in the room. Let me connect you to his office...

Friday, July 31, 2009

Locks of love

Today I got my hair cut for the first time in about a year. I decided that I would donate my lengthy locks to wig making for bald kids.

My neck feels so free now.

Also I thought it was high time I put picture of my beloved hamster Lawrence on my blog.

These were taken when we first got him. He was so tiny and cute. He is the love of my life...after Alex of course. :)

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Only Time I Have Regreted Being Mormon...

Happy Pioneer Day to all you people who don't get it off. Unfortunately, BYU-Info is still operational, so I get to spend the whole day in the office. It is the goal of everyone who works here for an eight hour shift to find some way of entertaining one-self. Most people resort to facebook and its many diversions; I myself favor to waste my time looking at Cute Overload and Lolcats. Today we were blessed with Yahoo!'s viral-video-finding-powers with THIS tidbit--

As you can see, this is easily the most awesome way to start a wedding. I feel like if my family weren't Mormon this is what we would be like.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Not really a real post...but drool worthy, yes

So I was just browsing the interwebs when I found this piece of awesome...

I'm sorry, what was that? I was too busy starring at Jacob's wet, naked chest. Too bad I am married and it would be pedophilia and also illegal to kidnap him...

Maybe sometime I will actually write a real post, but until that faraway day just enjoy.

Monday, June 1, 2009

New Moon

Yay, I win! I will be the first to post about this twilight related thing! The trailer for New Moon Premiered at the MTV Movie Awards last night. Twilight also won awards for best movie, best female performance, best breakout male performance, and best kiss. Here is the trailer.,

Looks pretty good, eh?

(FYI: I actually haven't heard the the trailer, only seen it. Our work computers don't have sound, so if there is anything untoward about the sound, I am ignorant.)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I seem to be pretty despicable because I have one millions things to blog about (my new hamster named Lawrence [the cutest hamster in all the land], my new garden, my new internship) but I haven't. Instead, I'm going to write about T-shirts.

The supervising computer for my work just got the Adobe Suite installed on it, and I have been going crazy with it. I volunteered to design our office t-shirt, and from there I have made two other t-shirts: one for my boss who does a "cousin camp" for her little grandchildren, and the other for our Wilkinson Family Reunion. I had a lot of fun with them, and think I could probably make a cottage business for camp shirts...but don't worry, I won't.

Here is the BYU Info Shirt. It is views of the front and back respectivly.

Here is the one for my boss. She wanted a simple design for a kids camp.

Here is the Wilkinson Family Reunion shirt. It depicts the greatest of all Wilkinson legends: THE VEGA. For those of you who don't know, the Vega was manufactured by Chevrolet 1970-1977. It had an unusual aluminum-block engine, that had some serious problems, most notably, the valve stem cells would split or crack, leaking oil into the combustion chamber. Basically, you could only go about 200 miles on one quart of oil. We had a Vega when I was growing up, and it was a very uncomfortable, and somewhat unreliable car. But it was the best car.

Some of my memories include: going around corners and the passenger door flying open; wanting to go to the park, but unable to because the door wouldn't open at all (even though it was unlocked); five to ten minute wrestles to get the car in reverse; the hump where the middle seat should have been; looking at the ceiling, which was like one of those 3D puzzles that pop out if you cross your eyes; and always leaving puddles of bright green antifreeze where ever we went (when the car was turned off it would promptly dump all of its vital fluids on the ground).

The reason we revere the Vega is because of its drive to go on. It seemed to serve us when we needed it the most, and wouldn't give up on us even when we retired it (at the dump). In the end, my dad called dumps to see what he could get for the car, and one dump even said in a disgusted voice, "We don't take Vegas." When he found someone who would take it, he left it running on their scales (so it wouldn't leak all over the scales), but it also seemed fitting. The car that never died.

As a result, in our family when we say "Be a VEGA" what we really mean is "Endure to the end." I thought it would only be natural to draw an homage to the Vega for our family reunion, to remind us to stick it through the tough times, and to always park so we can pull forward, in case you can't go into reverse later.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sex, Lies,and Photoshop

I just saw this really cool video article in the opinion section of the New York Times. Once again if you are squeamish of women (and this time men too) clad in bikini's then beware, you have been warned, although, it is kind of the whole point....

I entirely agree that the false images portrayed by the media give false notions of beauty to those who look at them, whether it be men, women, young girls, whoever. People should know that the images they see in movies and magazines are not real. They are in fact, impossible to achieve using mortal means. So next time you see a skin care add with skin that appears to glow from within, or a man who muscles seem to too proportional to be true, it probably is. Too perfect to be true I mean. And admit it, you really wanted to know what I wrote when you saw "Sex" in the title....

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Artwork from last year

So finally I am posting my artwork from last year, which includes: oil, watercolor, gouache, ink, a few acrylic, and an egg temera. Woo-hoo!

This is the first extended painting from my figure painting class. It is in oil. If you are offended by bikini's, there isn't much I can do for you except say at every other art school models are nude :). This painting, which is mounted on a door cut in half, took probably about 40-50 hours to paint.

These four are the start or my in-class shoe series for Aqueous Media. Aqueous media is any media that uses water as a vehicle (rather than something like oil). The whole semester I painted these shoes in different ways and with different materials. The top three are watercolor, the first one being an arbitrary/abstract.

The last one is an ink transfer and very watery gouache (most inks are also Aqueous Media, the ink used for this was water-based Intaglio ink).

I only did these three painting of my blue wedding shoes, the first one titled "Sacred Blue" was the first painting I did for the class. It is in watercolor. The single shoe is in acrylic, and the last is India Ink. For the ink one I used different hued washes, diluting the ink with water.

This is one of two painting we did on a plein-air(pronounced plane)field trip. The other is so grotesque I couldn't bring myself to put it up. This one is a view of the western mountains and sky seen from Rock Canyon Park in Provo.

These are my favorite painting from my Aqueous Media class and they are Gouache! Huzzah! The first two are from a second Plein-air outing, and I'm not going to lie, they are awesome. Doing the second painting, of the thicket, I began to understand the principles of painting outdoors and my teacher was pretty impressed.

The last two are shoes of course, the last took quite a while, but one in which my teacher was also impressed. All of the shoe painting I did in the 3 hour segments of class-time with the shoes sitting in front of me, and it made painting the Dr. Martins difficult because lighting would be changing day to day, or even hour to hour.

These are kind of misfit paintings, in that i just barely took pictures of them. The shoes are the last shoes I did for Aqueous Media. They are in Egg Tempera, which was a somewhat difficuilt media to work with, hence I only did the one painting. The shoe part is only about 5"x5" and the whole piece is 12"x12". I still like the kitchenesque tiles, mostly because it is super hard to get Egg Tempera to look that flat and consistant. Bragging rights really.

The whistle was for my final project. I painted about 15 items from my typeset tray.

The last painting was my in-class final for Figure Painting (the very last picture is a closeup of the models face which was tiny on my painting, very hard to get right). It is in oil.

Yay for the last painting, that I will show at least... It is of my face. A giant face.

This was my Final project for Figure Painting.It is on the other half of the door from the very first painting. It is of course not a perfect likeness. You also might have noticed the red things coming out of my neck; those are a Maya symbol of sacrifice, with some of my own embellishments. It's in oil. Yah, it's weird, but my teacher really liked it, so that's that.

So, for the two or three of you who really wanted to see my work, hooray! For everyone else...sucka's! :). This is of course not every single piece I did this year, but the ones I liked the best and still have with me, or had already taken pictures of.

P.S. All these works are copyrighted to me, so no stealing please.